Our Lenten "Fast" Continues...

According to my latest issue of Intermountain Catholic, our local Catholic newspaper, Pope Benedict XVI says that, this year, Catholics should "fast from words and images."

Clearly, His Holiness reads The Sci Fi Catholic.

2008 Lenten Read-a-Thon Day 1: Ash Wednesday

"I have come to chew bubblegum and to get ash, and the priest doesn't like it when I chew bubblegum."

--Snuffles the Dragon, overheard at Ash Wednesday Mass

It aint' over til the Against Apion sings.

New Complete Works of Josephus, translated by William Whiston and edited by Paul L. Maier. Kregel Publications (Grand Rapids): 1999. ISBN: 0-8254-2924-2. 1142 pages. $24.99.

Our Lenten Josephus Read-a-Thon is underway. First up on the agenda is Josephus's Life or Vita, the historian's account of himself and how awesome he is. We'll easily be through it tomorrow, as I have just completed Vita 215 (Loeb's numbers), which is on page 30 in my volume, putting us slightly ahead of schedule on this Ash Wednesday, first day of Lent.

Gettin' ash and takin' names!
(Photo stolen from Orthometer.)

So that's our Lenten reading so far. The introduction by Paul L. Maier is quite engaging. He begins thus:

Josephus was a first-century Jew whose life as a diplomat, general, and historian was crammed with contradictions. He studied in the desert but wrote in the city. He was a pacifist who went to war, a military commander who (to our knowledge) had no training in the martial arts but fought as if he had. He battled the Romans, yet was befriended by them. He joined a suicide pact but survived, while thirty-nine lay dead around him. He was the mortal foe of a future emperor--who later brought him into the family! [p. 7]

That should whet your interest. And check this out:

At Cluny...the famous monastery that sparked the Cluniac Reform in the tenth century, Josephus was specified for Lenten reading. [p. 15]

So for a very long time, Christians have been reading Josephus for penance, and we're proud to continue the tradition.

Phat Tuesday!

"I have come to kick butt and to chew pancakes...and I'm all outta pancakes."

--Snuffles the Dragon, overheard on Fat Tuesday

As I write this, Super Fat Tuesday (contracted to "Phat Tuesday") is drawing to a close. This unofficial holiday is also known as Carnival, which roughly translates as, "Hasta la vista...meat."

Or, in our world, "Hasta la vista...fiction." As you know, I'm taking Lent as an opportunity to kick my fiction addiction (ooh, that rhymes) and read some nonfiction that has kept sliding down my list from where it belongs because new comic books keep showing up in the mail.

But Phat Tuesday, the day before Lent begins, is an opportunity to get rid of all that spare whatever-you're-giving-up by finishing it off, so Snuffles and I have both been hard at work finishing off our spare fiction. He's over there plowing through volumes of manga at twice his usual rate, and I of course am looking at the seventh color volume of Bone, Ghost Circles. Though I won't be able to review it until after Lent, I can tell you now that Steve Hamaker's color keeps getting better. This is one volume that, probably more than any other in the series, has cried out to be colored, and at last that cry has been answered with stunning virtuosity. I'll tell you about it when the Read-a-Thon is over (stunning virtuosity, incidentally, is one of those things we book reviewers keep in reserve for those times when we can't think of anything meaningful to say, but the color really is good!).

No holiday is more (unofficially) self-indulgent than Phat Tuesday, and no form of fiction is more officially self-indulgent than fan fiction. I've spoken of fan fiction previously on this blog. Many authors dislike fan fiction, and the site Fanfiction.net even maintains a list of writers and publishers who have asked that their work not appear in fan fiction stories (don't ask me how I know that). Even Strong Bad hates fan fiction. But personally, I think fan fiction is the greatest compliment to an artist's work; it proves that he has built something so wonderful, it invigorates imaginations in a way that demands responsive creative output.

But it recently occurred to me that no form of fan-fiction could be more indulgent than self-referencing fan fiction. Now that this blog actually has a moderately respectable readership, and now that we are in the midst of a self-indulgent holiday, I have decided to produce, in honor of Phat Tuesday, some examples of what Sci Fi Catholic fan fiction might look like if someone out there were actually producing Sci Fi Catholic fan fiction. So grab your plastic beads, put on those pants with the butt cut out, and gather 'round for some serious self-indulgence.

First, we have that form of fan fiction tht attempts to be as true as possible to the original material. SF Cath fan fic of this nature would look something like this:

Around 10:00 on a Monday night, D. G. D. lay in the middle of his living room floor with a cheap paperback open across his face.

"Hey, Snuffles," he muttered in an alcohol-slurred voice, "get me 'nother beer, huh?"

"You're pathetic and stupid and I hate you," Snuffles said from across the room where he had his snout buried in yet another volume of Cardcaptor Sakura.

"Man, this is lame," D. G. D. said. "Maybe instead of getting drunk and reading sci-fi every night, I should get a woman or something."

"Yeah," Snuffles agreed, "but before you can do that, you have to get something else first."

"What?" D. G. D. asked. "Axe Body Spray? Already got some."

"No," Snuffles answered, "it's called a life. You should seriously think about getting one."

See? The characters and situations are true to life. This is a conversation these two could really have...um, because we actually had this very conversation last night.

Another type of fan fiction is the sort written by fourteen-year-old girls, who are fond of taking underdeveloped or ambiguous relationships in their favorite fiction and blowing them up into sappy, cliché-laden romances. Observe:

D. G. D. sat down next to Lucky the Goldfish's bowl. "Lucky," he said in that deep, charming voice, "it's time we talked...really talked."

"You mean...?" Lucky gasped, her fish-sized heart missing a few beats.

D. G. D. lay a hand tragically against his forehead. "I know I've been neglecting you," he said, "but I can't deny my true feelings anymore. I can't deny my passion for you. I don't want to be like that lame-o Darren who so totally dumped the author of this fan fic just so he could go out with Melissa, who he only likes because she's a cheerleader, not to mention a little slut."

"That Darren is, like, a total jerk-wad," Lucky agreed.

"But I don't want to be a jerk-wad anymore," D. G. D. said manfully. "Even though you've been cursed to be a goldfish, I know what kind of person you really are. I can see the beautiful princess you once were and can be again, unlike Darren, who can't see the beauty of this fan fic's author just because she has glasses, braces, and acne."

"Oh, like, wow!" Lucky gasped, her golfish heart skipping for joy.

Lucky's curse made him so sad, D. G. D. cried two pure, perfect, beautiful, manly tears, which fell into Lucky's bowl. Because of the purity of D. G. D.'s love for her, the magic tears transformed Lucky back into a princess. She rose with joy out of her bowl, restored to human form, and melted into D. G. D.'s arms.

Then they, like, totally made out.

And they say fan fiction has no literary merit. Take a close look at that last piece and you might notice what appears to be a second narrative running under the main narrative! It's, like, genius!

But that brings us around to sappy romance's twisted uncle, or maybe twisted younger brother--you guessed it, the fan fiction known as...slash.

"I can't help it," Snuffles the Dragon said with a fierce gaze in his draconic eyes. "When you came home from the field in that all-leather outfit, it seriously turned me on."

"Oh, really?" D. G. D. said, lifting one eyebrow and--

Whoa! Hold the phone! I'm cutting that one off early; it was, like, totally grossing me out.

So there you have it. Sci Fi Catholic fan fiction. And here's from all of us--me, Snuffles, Lucky, Frederick, Phenny, and even Rocky--hoping you have one really super Phat Tuesday!

The 40-Day Josephus Read-a-Thon

Holy cow, it's almost time for Lent! This coming Wednesday is Ash Wednesday, the day each year when we celebrate square-jawed, wisecracking zombie-slayers...no wait, that's not it. This coming Wednesday is Ash Wednesday, the day when we kick off the Lenten Season by remembering that we are dust.

Normally, I don't like it when people tell each other what they're giving up for Lent. Matthew 6.16-18 indicates that fasting is supposed to be done in private. Nonetheless, this year I'm going to tell you what I'm giving up because it affects you directly. I'm giving up fiction.

Now, this doesn't mean the blog is going on a hiatus of 40+ days; it merely means that the tenor will change, the news items will increase, and the reviews will stop. In their place, I will offer regular updates on what I intend to make an annual event--The Sci Fi Catholic Lenten Nonfiction Read-a-Thon. I'm inviting all readers to join in the Read-a-Thon either by reading the same text or texts I am, or to choose texts of their own. In the future, I'll try to give more advance notice so you can acquire the desired books ahead of time.

The goal of this year's Lenten Read-a-Thon is to read the Complete Works of Josephus.



The edition I will be using is the famous translation of William Whiston with new editing and additional commentary by popular historian Paul L. Maier. Maier, if you don't know, is an excellent wordsmith. His translation of Eusebius is highly readable, as is his selective translation of Josephus, Josephus: The Essential Works. He has also written a number of novels and has even been accused of creating a new genre known as the "theological thriller." His novel A Skeleton in God's Closet is the first Christian novel I ever read that didn't suck. That book is partly responsible for my being an archaeologist, though unfortunately, my life as an archaeologist looks nothing like that of the novel's protagonist: I have never once been the subject of international scandal, the object of multiple assassination plots, or a participant in covert espionage operations, nor have I had slobbery make-out scenes with women ten years my junior, though that last is okay because at my age I could get arrested for that. I have, however, drunk copious amounts of beer, though the Pope would apparently prefer it if I drank Fanta.

If you'd like to participate in our Lenten Read-a-Thon, put the comics and sf novels down, pick up a weighty nonfiction tome, and prove to the world that Sci Fi Catholics don't just read ephemeral garbage; sometimes we read boring stuff, too. If you're joining the Read-a-Thon, feel free to drop me an e-mail or leave a comment telling us all about what you're reading and your progress along the way, especially if you're joining me in reading Josephus.

Ash Wednesday and Blog Tour Day 3

It is the first day of Lent in the Western tradition, beginning a time to reflect on the year, remember the mercy of God, and do penance in preparation for the celebration of Easter. This is a special time of year for me, particularly, since just last year Lent meant gearing up for my induction into the Church. In particular, that involved participation in the Scrutinies, a set of scripture readings read at Mass for the benefit of the Catechumens, intended to inspire soul-searching in preparation for the sacraments of initiation.

Ash Wednesday involves marking a cross of ash on the forehead, in rememberance of our mortality. Sometimes the ash is made with the burnt remains of the palm fronds from last year's Palm Sunday.

Don't forget to check out Where the Map Ends. Since we're all about books here, take a look-see at the books page, which has an extensive list of Christian (presumably mostly Protestant) sf/fantasy authors and their work.

Ash Wednesday

Proudly bringing more Protestants to Mass than any other holiday since 1962.