|I stoled it.|
While watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and yes, "Is" is capitalized in a title, it occurred to me to wonder why exactly Spike the dragon is hanging out with all these ponies. It also occurred to me to wonder why Spike has a crush on Rarity the Unicorn, or why, for that matter, we see him in the series premier bringing a teddy bear to a Unicorn mare named Moondancer, or why Twilight Sparkle calls him "Casanova," suggesting he has a reputation.
I came to the obvious conclusion almost immediately: clearly, Spike is a political hostage being held in Canterlot to prevent a draconic uprising, and he developed his unnatural attraction to ponies while serving as a harem guard in the palace seraglio, a role for which his masters mistakenly thought him well-suited, due to the species difference. See The Hostage by Zayd Muti Dammaj for further sordid details, or else see "Shadow of the Dragon Lords" for decidedly less sordid details.
|Spike performs his harem duties.|
Actually, Spike is not the main character of the piece. The main character is Princess Luna, awesomest of the ponies, who commands the moon, rides the storm, flies in a black chariot, wears a cloak of living bats, and speaks in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe. I think her dialogue is supposed to be all Elizabethan, but it actually came out kind of Kimberlian, or even Meredithian. For the hay of it, in my story, I made her a practitioner of Lovecraftian black magic. Also, doing a Google image search for Princess Luna is a creepy experience.
Unfortunately, the episode in which Her Highness appears is largely about Twilight Sparkle trying to convince Her Highness to act more like an ill-mannered modern American and less like a princess, but so it goes. Personally, I really wanted to see Her Highness give Twilight a royal beat-down.
A quick explanation of Luna's awesomeness.
And remember that scene at the end in which little Pipsqueak grabs Her Highness's mane? Yeah, I wanted to see her give him a beat-down, too: "Unhoof me, dastard! Darest thou to lay hooves on majesty? Crouch in the dust and lick, thou cur! Thou dog!"
Although it may appear to be a waste of time, "Shadow of the Dragon Lords" is actually a public service: I am doing my part to reduce brony illiteracy by correctly naming the piece of furniture on which Rarity sometimes throws herself in mock displays of excessive emotion.
|I stoled that one, too.|
Never refer to a Unicorn's chaise longue as a "fainting couch." A Unicorn can mess you up.
Courtesy of Orthometer.
Okay, so . . . I lost my train of thought in there someplace. My point is that you should go read "Shadow of the Dragon Lords," or Rarity will run you over with a tank. Something like that.