Tuesday, December 27, 2011

'Rag & Muffin' Rough Draft Complete: Well, That Was Easy

I just finished the rough draft of Rag & Muffin: Tales of a Fourth Grade War Goddess, the novel I like to believe will open up a new sub-genre I call "magical girl noir," except it won't really. It's a magical girl warrior story in an exotic setting with elements of Dungeon Punk and lots of angst with some odd twists caused by my magical girls being different from the usual: they're sort of like a cross between a Nepalese kumari and a Little Sister from BioShock, with magic powers.

That gap I mentioned . . . it filled in rather easily. That probably means I'll need to rewrite that whole section, but still. I'll give the thing a first go-over right away to fix the most obvious weak parts, grammatical errors, and continuity problems, but then I'll probably inflict it on some poor beta readers and put it away for a month so I can look at it fresh when I make the next draft.

I'm sure it has some continuity problems to fix. I'm reasonably certain I accidentally gave at least one character Hollywood-style infinite ammo for her AK-47. I actually mean for the characters to be limited in the amount of ammunition they can pack, but then again, this particular character can blow people away with an assault rifle while listening to heavy metal and playing blindfold speed chess at the same time, so maybe she deserves infinite ammo.

At any rate, this seems to be a good time, at least to me, to check whether the rough draft is sufficiently awesome. If the awesomeness appears insufficient, I will have to jot "add more awesome" on my list of things that need to be done in the second draft.

Let's take a look:

Click to enlarge.
(Stolen from here.)


So there it is, the Periodic Table of Awesoments.  The rough draft, as it presently stands, includes the following:

  • Bacon. One character eats twelve slices at once.
  • Ninja. That's a stretch, but ninja are mentioned in the dialogue.
  • Sniper.
  • Explosion. (That goes without saying.)
  • Grenades.
  • Assassin.
  • Bombs.
  • Christopher Walken. Okay, not really.
  • Proximity Mines. Whoa. I almost can't believe I actually worked those in there.
  • Minigun.
  • Kung fu. They call it something different, but it's basically Hong Kong wire-fu chop-sockey.
  • Helicopter. Magitek airships, actually, but I think they should count.
  • Sword.
  • Tank.
  • Moon jumps. I'm not really sure what this means, but if it means using your awesome Kung fu to jump really high, then that happens a lot. My characters are practically living super balls.
  • Mecha. Not just mecha, but demon-possessed mecha that can drag you to hell.
  • Lightning.
  • Fire. Goes with the explosions.
  • Liquor.
  • Robots. Not just robots, but demon-possessed robots that can drag you to hell.
  • Motorcycle.
  • Storms. How 'bout a whole frickin' monsoon?
  • Ribs. Not sure if this means any old ribs or ribs prepared for eating, but ribs play an important role in the story one way or the other.
  • Fortress. Not just a fortress, but a temple fortress. And it's a transformer.
  • Metal. Not sure if it means any old metal, or the music. One way or the other, we have both.
  • Money. Yeah, it gets mentioned.
  • Dinosaur. Also a stretch. Mentioned in dialogue.
  • Dragon. The "Muffin" of the title is the name of the heroine's pet dragon.
  • Cheetah. Do anthropomorphic furry cheetahs count?
  • Skulls. Of religious importance, no less.
  • Scars. When you look at everything else on this list, somebody is going to have to get a scar sooner or later.
  • Sunglasses. Worn at night, even.
  • Guitar solo. Believe it or not, I worked one in there.
That's not too bad, really. If I can throw in a penguin, mention cheese, and give somebody a cup of coffee, I should be able to make this even more awesome. I actually had a stuffed penguin in an earlier version, but eventually I needed to replace it with something else.
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