Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day, Fanboy



Ah, here we go again. It is easily the most miserable holiday for fanboys, since it's commonly known that none of them have girlfriends. Poor, poor fanboy. Well, look on the bright side: At least you're not like this guy. I hope not, anyway.

That guy in the news video I just linked, by the way, fulfills some predictions I made. The future is now, I guess. Notice what the guy says: He prefers his girl robots to real women because, unlike a real woman, they can't cheat on him or betray him. Lucky the Goldfish, when she heard that, snidely remarked, "Yeah, and this woman would like to point out that there are a lot of other things your doll can't do, fanboy."

Just so.

Notice, too, that the dude can't be satisfied with just one girl robot. He needs a hundred of them, even though they're expensive. Has he discovered, perhaps, that he is unsatisfied with a fictional relationship with an inanimate object? Does he keep buying more and more of these things in the hope that a hundred toys will give him the love that one cannot? Sad, very sad.

So, getting away from that subject for a moment, we find that today is St. Valentine's Day. In addition to honoring the renowned saint, I like to celebrate the day with heart-shaped chocolate boxes that play Elvis Presley songs when opened. And because the closest thing I have to a significant other has been transformed into a goldfish, I get to eat the chocolate. Now that's Valentine's Day the way it should be. Mmm mmm. You see, we here at The Sci Fi Catholic believe holy things and schlocky things can go hand-in-hand. We believe that because, well, they always have. Those SSPX-types might complain long and loud about badly painted plastic icons sold in Catholic gift shops, but at least those are an improvement over the ambulatory vulvae you could get at Catholic shrines during the Middle Ages.

The same blog I just linked has a fine article on the association between Geoffrey Chaucer and St. Valentine's Day, Chaucer's being, apparently, "the first extant reference to 'St. Valentine's Day' as an occasion for romance" (more...). So go read that, as it's better than all the stuff I usually write at this time of year about birds (whose language I speak, by the way, thanks to this ring I got that used to belong to Solomon, but that's a long story).

Now I have to go, because I think Snuffles is going to force me to watch The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love?



And this one goes out to Xena, in the hopes that she may recover from my uncharitable posting of a Corey Hart video...
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