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I'd be more interested in knowing how long I could survive with a Utahraptor. Or with an Alioramus, maybe. Or with Snuffles. I'm guessing my best bet here is to tackle the Velociraptor from the side and try to pin its legs down with my body and maybe clamp its jaw shut with my hands and hope it has trouble forcing its mouth open, like an alligator does. Of course, then it would proceed to scratch the heck out of me with its arms.
This takes me back to the good old days of my youth when I wrote stories about talking dinosaurs, stories that would probably disturb any adults who read them--especially that one about the angry teenage Triceratops action hero who kills carnosaurs to avenge the deaths of his parents. Or the one about the Tyranosaur who, following his pacifist ideals, decides to become a vegetarian and consequently suffers severe health problems.
Hat tip to Orthometer.