Sunday, August 3, 2008

Ten Things We'd Like to See In Ack-Shun!

Fr. Erik Richtsteig of Orthometer has tagged all three of us with the "Ten Things We'd Like to See in Action" meme. We thought of referring this to Grundir, but since it isn't one of those annoying personal trivia memes, and since it actually has to do with the sort of stuff this blog deals with, Snuffles, Lucky, and I put our heads together and came up with a list. Snuffles was a bit distracted, though, apparently because he's agonizing over his next post, which is weird because I've never seen him agonize over anything. But anyway, here's what we came up with:

  1. Snuffles: Female action heroes who don't get transformed by fans into porn fantasies.
  2. D.G.D.: Human characters in an H. P. Lovecraft-based film who kick some monster butt instead of going insane and weepy at the sight of tentacles.
  3. Lucky: An action movie with a love story that's actually important to the plot and not awkwardly worked in just because American movies are supposed to have love stories.
  4. Snuffles: Accurately portrayed ballistics.
  5. D.G.D.: Accurately portrayed orbital mechanics and accurate space battles, though I imagine an accurate space battle would probably result in every single ship destroyed or disabled by flying debris.
  6. Lucky: More knights in shining armor.
  7. D.G.D.: A live-action adaptation of Neotopia.
  8. Snuffles: The banning of all ray guns. They should simply be disallowed, especially the ones that make shrill noises when they fire. I'm particularly thinking of those ray guns that fire opaque segments of light that travel under the speed of light. Star Wars, I'm talkin' to you.
  9. D.G.D.: A film version of Bone that dumbs down the plot and plays up the action sequences. I know that's an awful thing to wish for, but I can't help my low tastes. Besides, that's what we're likely to get anyway, so this way I won't be so disappointed. Somebody at Scifimoviepage, describing Bone, says it "inserts its Casper the Ghost characters into a realistic Tolkien milieu." Wait, did I read that right? Did he say realistic Tolkien milieu? I'll be darned, he did. For that, I quote Inigo Montoya: "You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means."
  10. Snuffles: I'm...I'm too depressed to think of another right now.
blog comments powered by Disqus