Sunday, July 6, 2008

What I Did over July 4th Weekend

Well, as I said, I spent the weekend with family, so I didn't have much time for the blog. Of course, as regular readers know, my family isn't exactly a traditional one. I should probably say that I spent the weekend with some close friends I think of as family.

No, in case you're wondering, Harman and Nattie, my adopted parents, did not come down to visit for July 4th. Utah is, I'm sorry to say, a hotbed of dracophobia where many unjust anti-dragon laws are still on the books; living here has been very hard on Snuffles, but he has no choice since I have a job here and he has to live with me because of that magical blood oath we so foolishly made in our youth. Anyway, Harman and Nattie didn't visit because they don't want to deal with the paperwork they would have to fill out, nor the indignity of Utah's dragon-harness laws. I can't say I blame them.

However, we did get a visit from a good friend of ours who I haven't seen in quite a while. In fact, I don't think I've seen Trisha since before Rocky the Space Mouse took off on his most recent expedition, which was well over a year ago.

Trisha and I are just hangin' out.

Trisha is a Protoceratops. She lives in Wisconsin. She's a particularly good friend of Lucky the Goldfish, though they don't get to see each other very often. Trish and Lucky spent most of the weekend chattering and catching up on "girl talk." Snuffles snapped this photo of Trish and me while we were relaxing in the front hall. This "pose" might look weird to some people, but you have to understand that Trish is cold-blooded and likes mammals' body heat.

Hans and I go walking through his cave.

This is Hans, a bear who lives near our apartment. Snuffles, Lucky, Trisha, and I all went to visit him. Snuffles snapped this photo while Hans and I were chit-chatting. As you can see, Hans doesn't like having his photo taken. Hans was never a close friend of mine, but he knew Rocky the Space Mouse quite well, and Rocky and Lucky have always been close, and of course Trisha is good friends with Lucky, so add it all together and Trish wanted to visit Hans while she was in the area.

Now, though Harman and Nattie didn't visit us, we thought we might be able to visit them: as it turned out, Hans had a Graviton Teleporter left by a group of extraterrestrial religious cultists who get some kind of kick out of "seeding" esoteric technology on primitive planets, which they say appeases the wrath of the Cosmic Trickster God or something like that. Anyway, after several years, Hans had gotten the thing working, and though I don't really get the physics, I'm made to understand that the device enables a person to move from one brane to another by manipulating gravitons: gravitons are massless of course, and can readily move between branes; if you imagine the visible three-dimensional universe as two-dimensional information imposed on the exterior surface of a sphere, and then imagine that this sphere is one of several spheres within a large multidimensional area known as the bulk, which is itself formed of interactions on the surface of a supersphere, and then imagine it were possible to use gravitons to transmit a sort of "code" that rewrites the information on the supersphere's surface in such a way that matter and energy can be moved instantaneously from one place in the bulk to another, you might be grasping how the Graviton Teleporter works, or maybe I messed up the explanation. Either way, to make a long story short, we tried to use the Graviton Teleporter to get to the Fairy Wood to visit Harman and Nattie.

The Fairy Wood.

Turns out the Teleporter isn't too precise, apparently because of something having to do with information entropy. It did take us to the Fairy Wood, but to an area hundreds of miles away from Harman and Nattie's cave. The particular area where we landed is controlled by an unusually industrious and peaceful race of elves, who have carefully cultivated their land so that it's a good deal less wild than most of the Wood.

A waterfall in the Fairy Wood.

So there you go. That's what I did over July 4th weekend. We managed to get the Teleporter to bring us back safe and sound. Trisha headed home, and now we're getting ready to start our week. Here's hoping everyone else had a great weekend, too.
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