Monday, April 9, 2007

Great Things About Easter

The best thing about Easter is of course the Resurrection. And the second-best thing is the vigil Mass with the new converts. And third best is special time with family and friends. Fourth is probably the ham dinner.

But the fifth best thing is undoubtedly the Marshmallow Peep®. I mean, seriously, these have got to be the grossest candy ever invented, but I still can't get enough. It's not every candy that has an official fan club, after all.

I like the way they sit so serenely in the Easter basket, nestled against each other in a show of goodwill, joining hands with The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse to guard their precious nest of jelly beans and Cadbury Creme Eggs. Then, I lovingly pluck one Peep® from his brethren and hold him in my hands. With cruel teeth, I tear his head from his body: As if this violence weren't enough, I proceed to devour the rest of him whole, leaving nothing for his comrades to mourn. From my hands I wipe the yellow granules that formerly formed his outer flesh; they fall like yellow rain, a new golden shower signifying death and mourning rather than life and birth. Buahahahaha.

Anyhow, according to this year's Peeps® Celebrity Survey, which is either a survey of or about celebrities, or maybe a survey of Peeps® celebrities, or something, George Bush is the man in America most in need of a Peep®. The Peep® would most likely come to life as either Will Ferrell or Jessica Simpson. Personally, I think the Peep® would come to life as something similar to the Stay Pufft Marshmallow Man and proceed to destroy New York, but nobody asked me.

I don't know what any of that means, and I'll bet the people who wrote and took the survey don't either, but there you go. But look at this: You know a candy is gross when the second favorite way to eat it is not to eat it at all.

Okay, that's not much of a post. But get this: In the near future, if he'll still have me, I'll be teaming up with one of my fellow Catholic sf-crazy bloggers to talk about Christian sf and maybe start an argument or even a fist fight. Then, because Peter really wants it, I will begin that promised series on Bone. Plus, as always, we've got book and movie reviews coming.
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