Monday, April 30, 2007
Snuffles answers his fan mail.
As you can imagine, after my first post yesterday, I got tons of fanmail. Tons. Really. Anyway, I ran to D. G. D. and asked, "What do I do with this stuff?"
"Answer it on the blog," he tells me.
So, here I go. Our first e-mail is from a fan all the way over in Nigeria who writes:
DEAR SIR OR MADAM:
I CAN BEING GREAT TRUST WITH YOU IN PROPOSITIONAL BUSINESS DEAL OF GREAT PROFIT TO BOTH OF US.... A DEAR COLLEAGUE DIED SUDDENLY WITHOUT KIN LEAVING NINE MILLION ($9,000,000) U.S.... IF YOU AGREE TO HOLD THIS MONEY, I WILL GIVE YOU A THIRD AND TAKE THE REST MYSELF. PLEASE TO BE RESPONDING QUICKLY.
My friend, you have come to the right place. We dragons are legendary, I mean legendary, for protecting treasure. In fact, hanging out with D.G.D. in his dingy one-bedroom/half-bath apartment is mostly just a weekend thing. I spend most of my time in a glorious cave in the high Himalayas where I lounge on an enormous pile of gold whilst doe-eyed ladies serenade me on harps, pull parasites out of my scales, fan me with ostrich feathers, and feed me with choice wines or the flesh of ill-fated adventurers who have dared enter my abode in the hopes of winning great fortune or the hand of one of my beauteous maidens.
My advice to you is this: take the entire nine million ($9,000,000), convert it to precious metals, load it into a poorly guarded caravan, and drive it to within a few miles of the following address:
ONE MONDO GIANT HUGE TREASURE HOARD
c/o SNUFFLES THE DRAGON
SOMEWHERE IN THE HIMALAYAS
Okay, there you go. Oh boy, I sure am looking forward to counting all that new ill-gotten wealth. Anway, if anyone else out there wants to talk to Snuffles the Dragon, just send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. Tell 'im Snuffles sent you. And that's me. So there.