Are you honestly telling me that you don't already have a system in place to deal with large sums of money left by deceased clients without next of kin? It sounds to me like the First Bank of Nigeria is an incompetent institution. I am sorry, but I simply cannot give you my bank account number. Who knows? You might lose or misplace it or, worse, give it to some unscrupulous individual who would empty my account. Then, instead of becoming an instant millionare without any effort on my part, as you have promised, I would be broke. At least you couldn't touch my Roth IRA or my bonds, but losing my savings account would be bad enough.
I am sorry to say I must decline your tempting offer. Thank you for understanding. Now stop e-mailing me, and that goes for your little e-mail address-harvesting robot, too.
D. G. D. Davidson, esq.
Sci Fi Catholic